
How to Hatch in Narcissist’s Mind: Internal to External Object
Sam Vaknin explained that narcissists perceive others not as separate external entities but as internal objects or avatars within their own minds, using primitive defenses such as projection and splitting internally on these representations rather than on the actual people. He emphasized that challenging a narcissist’s internal object through asserting personal autonomy, disagreeing, or maintaining external relationships can provoke aggression but is essential to affirm one’s separateness and reality. Ultimately, Vaknin advised that recognizing this dynamic helps in coping with narcissists, as attempts to assert external reality can disrupt the narcissist’s fantasy but may risk the relationship.