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Tag: Sam Vaknin

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Sadistic Envy: Pleasure of Destroying Your Betters (Narcissism Summaries Clip)

The video discussed the role of malicious envy as a central characteristic of covert narcissism, highlighting its connection to sadism through the desire to exert power and control over others. It differentiated between grandiose and vulnerable narcissism, emphasizing how both types derive pleasure from dominance and the pain of others, with covert narcissists being more emotionally dysregulated and reliant on controlling others. The discussion concluded that malicious envy and narcissistic rivalry underpin aggressive behaviors that reinforce the narcissist’s grandiose self-image, often leading to destructive outcomes. Sadistic Envy: Pleasure of Destroying Your Betters (Narcissism Summaries Clip)

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13.11.2025
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Silence, Guilt After Narcissist’s Discard (Narcissism Summaries Clip)

The video explored the concept of survivor guilt experienced by those who leave or are discarded by narcissists, emphasizing the complex emotions tied to abandoning a narcissistic partner perceived as a vulnerable child. It highlighted the distorted nature of the narcissist’s identity and the shared fantasy in the relationship, explaining that survival requires rejecting a manipulative, illusory narrative rather than a genuine person. Ultimately, it encouraged survivors to recognize they have not truly abandoned a real individual but a harmful fantasy, urging them to prioritize their own well-being and self-preservation. Silence, Guilt After Narcissist’s Discard (Narcissism Summaries Clip)

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13.11.2025
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Reality as Narcissistic Injury (Grandiosity Gap)

The speaker discussed the inherent contradiction in psychology and self-help between expanding oneself through exploration and the simultaneous societal demand for self-control and limitation. This paradox is pronounced in pathological narcissism, where individuals reject the constraining reality in favor of an inflated, fantastical self-concept, resulting in a persistent conflict between reality and fantasy. The narcissist’s refusal to accept reality leads to narcissistic injury, rage, and abuse, ultimately causing emotional dysregulation and the formation of a false self disconnected from true reality. Reality as Narcissistic Injury (Grandiosity Gap)

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13.11.2025
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Narcissistic Abuse: Un-Shadow Your Life, Mind (with Sara Martinez, Vine Sisters)

In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin discussed the complexities of narcissistic and covert abuse, emphasizing how victims are often trapped in a distorted reality due to the abuser’s manipulative behaviors like gaslighting and intermittent reinforcement. He highlighted the long-term psychological and physiological impacts on survivors, including identity loss, addiction to idealization, and challenges in trusting others, while assuring that recovery is possible with patience and support. Additionally, Professor Vaknin addressed broader societal parallels of abuse, decoding the manipulative tactics of narcissists as well as misconceptions about narcissism, its origins, and the difficulties in healing or changing the abuser. Narcissistic Abuse

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13.11.2025

Borderline’s Mating Strategies, Aggression Mismanaged

The video is focused on the mating strategies and aggression patterns of Cluster B personality disorders, particularly borderline personality disorder (BPD), highlighting their self-defeating behaviors and difficulty in managing aggression. It explained how borderline individuals use manipulative tactics in relationships, struggle with approach-avoidance dynamics due to misdirected aggression, and internalize their anger leading to self-destructive behaviors. The discussion emphasized the need for Cluster B patients to learn healthy externalization and sublimation of aggression through therapy and socially acceptable outlets. Borderline’s Mating Strategies, Aggression Mismanaged

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10.11.2025

Cold Empathy of Psychopathic Narcissists: Uncanny Valley

The speaker discussed the concept of the uncanny valley, likening psychopathic narcissists to humanlike robots that evoke repulsion due to their lack of genuine empathy. They explained that narcissists possess a cold, manipulative form of empathy used primarily for personal gain, contrasting it with true emotional empathy which fosters morality and social connection. The speaker lamented the societal decline in genuine empathy, linking it to increased antisocial behavior, cultural shifts towards narcissism, and a rise in mental health issues marked by empathy deficits. Cold Empathy of Psychopathic Narcissists: Uncanny Valley

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10.11.2025

How Narcissist is Mortified (Empathy Aphantasia)

The video explored the immutable nature of pathological narcissism, emphasizing that while behaviors and attendant disorders can be treated, the core narcissistic self remains unchangeable. It introduced the concepts of mortification and modification, linking them to aphantasia and the misinformation effect, which disrupt the narcissist’s memory and self-perception, leading to catastrophic internal collapse. Additionally, the discussion highlighted the narcissist’s extreme suggestibility, reliance on external validation, and the complex interplay between false memories, grandiosity, and identity defense mechanisms. How Narcissist is Mortified (Empathy Aphantasia)

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10.11.2025

Violent Innocence of Narcissist’s Victimhood (Passive-aggression)

In this video, Sam Vaknin discussed the concept of “violent innocence,” a psychological defense mechanism common in narcissists, where individuals cause harm while denying responsibility and insisting on their moral superiority. He explained how covert narcissists exhibit passive aggression through behaviors like gaslighting, procrastination, and performative compliance or obnoxiousness, all while maintaining a self-concept of being good and blameless. The discussion highlighted the harmful effects of violent innocence on victims and society, emphasizing narcissists’ denial, lack of self-awareness, and resistance to growth or accountability. Violent Innocence of Narcissist’s Victimhood (Passive-aggression)

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09.11.2025

Avoid Toxic Love of Toxic People

In this video, Sam Vaknin explored the concept of toxic and conditional love, emphasizing how unhealthy early experiences with love lead individuals to misinterpret and rely on corrupted forms of affection characterized by performance, coercion, and manipulation. He explained the detrimental effects such as codependency, borderline behaviors, triangulation, and infidelity, highlighting how these dynamics create unstable and damaging relationships. Ultimately, true love is described as unconditional, embracing individuality and autonomy, whereas toxic love demands change and control, inevitably resulting in relationship breakdowns. Avoid Toxic Love of Toxic People

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09.11.2025

Narcissist? Trust Your Gut Feeling: 4 Rules to Avoid Bad Relationships (Intuition Explained)

In this video, the Speaker emphasized four essential rules for recognizing genuine relationships and warned against deception, particularly in dealings with narcissists and psychopaths, highlighting the importance of trusting and verifying intuition. They explored the philosophical and psychological foundations of intuition, distinguishing three types—identic, emergent, and ideal intuition—and their roles in personal growth, decision-making, and recognizing underlying truths beyond rational analysis. The discussion also focused on the limitations of rationality, the significance of empathy as a form of intuition, and the challenges posed by narcissistic personalities that lack genuine selfhood and authenticity. Narcissist? Trust Your Gut Feeling: 4 Rules to Avoid Bad Relationships (Intuition Explained)

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09.11.2025

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