Tag: Narcissistic

Sam and Lidija: Parents of Narcissistic Abuse Field (with J.S. Wolfe)

In this in-depth discussion, Sam Vaknin and Lydia Rangalowska explored the complexities of narcissistic personality disorder, including its origins, emotional dynamics, and impact on relationships, emphasizing the internalized nature of narcissistic perceptions and behaviors. They highlighted the challenges faced by partners of narcissists, the interplay between different personality disorders, and the psychological mechanisms narcissists use to manipulate and sustain their distorted self-concept. The conversation also addressed misconceptions about empathy, the fluidity of personality disorders, and the difficulties in individuation for those enmeshed with narcissistic parents.

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How to Extinguish Narcissist’s Rage

Sam Vaknin, discusses the nature of malignant narcissistic rage, emphasizing its self-reinforcing, internal origin and disconnect from external reality or fault. He presents two methods to cope with such rage: careful submission that focuses on flattery and amends centered around the narcissist, and mirroring the rage back to a bullying narcissist without escalating to real-life consequences. Caution is stressed, especially with psychopathic narcissists, where mirroring can provoke violence, highlighting the complexity and danger in managing narcissistic rage.

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3 Steps to Manipulate a People-pleaser

In the meeting, the speaker explained how people pleasers, often driven by distorted cognitive patterns rooted in childhood parentification, are easily manipulated through clear communication of expectations, intermittent reinforcement of pleasure, and expressions of profound disappointment. People pleasers harbor automatic thoughts such as needing to earn happiness, bribing others for acceptance, and compromising boundaries due to feelings of unworthiness and responsibility for others’ well-being. The discussion also explored the psychological constructs and self-states that sustain people pleasing behavior, emphasizing its role as a coping mechanism rather than a conscious choice.

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