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Category: Summaries

Why Do You Fall for Narcissist’s “Lies”, “Gaslighting”? (Hindsight Bias, Illusory Truth Effect)

In this video, Sam Vaknin explained that narcissists and borderline individuals often confabulate—unconsciously fabricating memories to fill gaps caused by dissociation—rather than intentionally lying or manipulating like psychopaths. Confabulations serve as a defensive mechanism to maintain a sense of personal identity and continuity, and both the confabulators and their listeners tend to believe these narratives due to cognitive biases such as confirmation bias and the illusory truth effect. The meeting emphasized the crucial distinction between confabulation as a non-malicious coping strategy and deliberate lies or gaslighting used by psychopaths for manipulative purposes. Why Do You Fall for Narcissist’s “Lies”, “Gaslighting”? (Hindsight Bias, Illusory Truth Effect)

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26.10.2025

Victim or Narcissist? Tell Them Apart!

In this video, the speaker explained how to distinguish true victims from narcissists who falsely claim victimhood by highlighting key behaviors such as splitting, generalization, self-pity, and denial of responsibility. Narcissists often portray themselves as flawless victims, avoid accountability, and use victimhood manipulatively for personal gain, whereas real victims exhibit nuanced self-awareness and take responsibility for their circumstances. The speaker provided practical tests and signs to identify narcissistic victimhood, emphasizing the importance of critical evaluation in interactions. Victim or Narcissist? Tell Them Apart!

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26.10.2025

Narcissist’s Sex: Competition, Degrading Porn

In this video, Sam Vaknin explores the concept of sex as a competitive and autoerotic act in the world of narcissists, emphasizing that narcissistic sex is driven by performance anxiety, entitlement, and an overwhelming focus on self-gratification. He explains that narcissists view their partners as objects for validation and competition against past lovers and themselves, resulting in mechanistic, impersonal, and ultimately degrading sexual experiences. Despite the consensual nature of these encounters, the narcissist’s inability to engage in genuine intimacy leads to narcissistic injury and leaves partners feeling diminished and used. Narcissist’s Sex: Competition, Degrading Porn

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23.10.2025

Horrible Families Raise Horrible Adults (with Familias Horribles)

In this insightful podcast discussion, Professor Sam Vaknin delves into the complexities of narcissism, distinguishing between healthy narcissism and pathological narcissism, which arises from early childhood abuse and dysfunctional family dynamics, primarily influenced by the mother. He explains the roles of siblings in narcissistic families, different narcissist types, and the intricate psychological mechanisms like projective splitting and fantasy bonding that sustain narcissistic abuse. Vaknin also clarifies common misconceptions about narcissists versus psychopaths, the challenges of healing, and emphasizes the rarity of true narcissistic personality disorder amidst widespread misinformation. Horrible Families Raise Horrible Adults (with Familias Horribles)

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23.10.2025

How Narcissist Collapses Furiously

The speaker discussed the multifaceted nature of narcissistic collapse, emphasizing it arises not only from deficient narcissistic supply but also from the rejection of the narcissist’s shared fantasy by others, leading to feelings of injustice, anger, and potential self-destructive behaviors. The collapse can manifest as externalized aggression or internalized depression, with narcissists oscillating between seeking high-grade supply, self-supply, and rejecting low-grade or fake supply, often resulting in a vicious cycle of hostility and social alienation. Recovery from collapse involves resuscitating narcissistic supply and grandiosity, though repeated collapses increase anxiety, depression, and risk of borderline personality features or suicidal ideation, especially as narcissists age. How Narcissist Collapses Furiously

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23.10.2025

Fix your Narrative, Heal Yourself: Narcissism Narrative Therapy

The video is focused on the concept of narrative therapy as a means to address failures in self-narratives commonly seen in disorders such as narcissism and borderline personality disorder, emphasizing the reconstruction of personal stories to enhance self-efficacy and identity cohesion. Techniques discussed included externalizing conversations, re-authoring one’s identity with therapist collaboration, and involving outsider witnesses to provide supportive perspectives. The therapeutic goal is to empower individuals to rewrite their self-narratives creatively, fostering personal growth and problem-solving through a collaborative and values-driven process. Fix your Narrative, Heal Yourself: Narcissism Narrative Therapy

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22.10.2025

Signs You are Victim of Narcissistic Abuse, Not Common Abuse (Stress, Depression Management Webinar)

In the webinar on stress and depression management, Sam Vaknin discussed narcissistic abuse as a distinct and insidious form of abuse characterized by manipulative, prolonged, and community-involved tactics that deeply impair victims’ autonomy and mental health. He highlighted the complex psychological impacts such as learned helplessness, trauma bonding, complex PTSD, and the long-lasting effects including stalking-like self-abuse and social isolation. Vaknin emphasized the need to rethink trauma responses, recognize the unique challenges of narcissistic abuse survivors, and shift societal paradigms that often overlook or enable such abusive dynamics. Signs You are Victim of Narcissistic Abuse, Not Common Abuse (Stress, Depression Management Webinar)

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22.10.2025

Borderline: Narcissist’s Mirror (and Avoidant Personality Disorder)

In this video, the speaker explored the psychodynamic relationship between borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), proposing that BPD is a mirror image of narcissism, with distinct but parallel mechanisms of control and anxiety relating to presence and absence in relationships. The discussion included differences in how both disorders manage intimacy, separation, and devaluation, as well as their avoidant and schizoid phases, contrasted with avoidant personality disorder (AvPD), which shares some symptoms but differs fundamentally in causes and behavioral responses. The speaker also illustrated avoidant personality disorder with a clinical example, emphasizing its common misdiagnosis due to overlapping traits with BPD and NPD despite distinct psychodynamic foundations.

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21.10.2025

Cheating, Triangulation in Sick Relationships: Power Play, Revenge, Entitlement

This video explored the dynamics of cheating and triangulation in toxic, obsessive relationships, highlighting how these behaviors serve as tools for power plays, revenge, and emotional regulation rather than true romantic or sexual pursuits. It examined how such actions reinforce dysfunctional bonds, confirm internalized negative self-views, and often follow phases of extreme loyalty and trauma-induced behavior. Additionally, the discussion covered narcissistic motivations for cheating, including entitlement, control, boredom, and fear of intimacy, as well as the risks and consequences of using third parties in triangulation. Cheating, Triangulation in Sick Relationships: Power Play, Revenge, Entitlement

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20.10.2025

Autists Lack Empathy, “Empaths” Deceive, Manipulate

In this video, the speaker presented evidence from recent studies showing that children with autism spectrum disorder exhibit deficits in empathy and self-conscious emotions such as guilt and shame, likening these traits to those found in narcissists and psychopaths. The discussion also highlighted that so-called empaths are often narcissists or psychopaths who manipulate others through deceptive signaling of high sensitivity as a strategy to gain sympathy or control. Overall, the speaker emphasized the complex interplay between neurodevelopmental and personality disorders, challenging common perceptions about empathy and victimhood. Autists Lack Empathy, “Empaths” Deceive, Manipulate

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20.10.2025

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