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Category: Summaries

Why Narcissist Never Feels Sorry

Sam Vaknin explained why narcissists rarely apologize, attributing it to a false self born of childhood trauma, grandiose omnipotent beliefs, entitlement, manipulative skills, and impaired empathy and reality testing. He described how these defenses produce a sense of immunity to consequences, chronic dysphoria beneath grandiosity, and defensive misbehavior that harms others, while noting narcissists can control actions when sufficiently incentivized and thus should generally be held accountable. Practical implications include recognizing manipulative patterns, understanding the narcissist’s internal pain and entitlement, and maintaining boundaries while seeking accountability. Why Narcissist Never Feels Sorry

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27.11.2025

Dead Parents Clone Narcissists (and Codependents and Borderlines)

Sam Vaknin presented a theory of three trauma types—self-inflicted, reality-inflicted (growth-promoting), and parental (most damaging)—arguing mothers play a decisive role in shaping lifelong psychological development. He described childhood stages (birth as primary rejection, separation-individuation) and contrasted three narrative responses to the self/world split: psychotic (fusion/identity diffusion), narcissistic (deflationary world, inflated self), and a healthy “nothingness” narrative based on clear boundaries and a calibrated self. Vaknin linked cultural trends (materialism, technology, social media) to the rise of dead-object civilizations and a societal shift toward narcissistic narratives, warning this undermines empathy and long-term collective well-being. Dead Parents Clone Narcissists (and Codependents and Borderlines)

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24.11.2025

Psychology of Fraud and Corruption (Criminology Intro in CIAPS, Cambridge, UK)

Professor explained financial crime as a white-collar subtype, focusing on fraud and corruption and arguing that many offenders show significant psychopathology rather than ordinary greed. Key psychological features include magical thinking, impulsivity, entitlement, narcissism, psychopathy, impaired reality testing, dissociation, lack of empathy, grandiosity, and compulsive behaviors (e.g., kleptomania) that make fraud a pervasive lifestyle and corruption sometimes a compulsive hoarding of wealth. The lecture contrasted white-collar with street crime, noted investigative difficulties due to secrecy and symbolic nature of harm, and observed that attention-seeking and grandiosity often precipitate downfall. Psychology of Fraud and Corruption (Criminology Intro in CIAPS, Cambridge, UK)

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24.11.2025

Abuse Victims MUST Watch This! (with Psychotherapist Renzo Santa María)

Professor Sam Vaknin argued that narcissistic abuse causes distinct, reversible trauma by imposing the abuser’s deficits on victims—eroding identity, agency, reality testing, and inducing internalized ‘introject’ voices that perpetuate suffering. He recommended initial self-work (identifying and silencing alien internal voices, rebuilding an authentic internal friend, body-focused interventions, and delaying therapy until the narcissistic voice is weakened), strict no-contact as the primary protection, and targeted therapies (IFS, schema, CBT, EMDR) for longer-term recovery. Vaknin cautioned against two common recovery mistakes—maintaining contact in the hope the narcissist will restore what was taken, and adopting a lifelong victim identity—and advocated building trauma resilience and proactive, preventive strategies. Abuse Victims MUST Watch This! (with Psychotherapist Renzo Santa María)

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24.11.2025

“Bad” Relationships Are Opportunities (with Daria Zukowska, Clinical Psychologist)

Professor Sam Vaknin discussed dysfunctional relationships and reframed them as learning opportunities rather than “lost time,” emphasizing that growth requires emotional insight and embodiment in addition to cognitive understanding. He explained that negative self-concept arises from internalized hostile voices, can be countered by developing an authentic, supportive inner voice, and advised rebuilding trust slowly—testing partners and first reestablishing trust in oneself. He also noted that healthy relationships accept partners as they are and allow freedom and outside enrichment, and warned against pursuing relationships compulsively. “Bad” Relationships Are Opportunities (with Daria Zukowska, Clinical Psychologist)

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24.11.2025

Borderline Misunderstands Her Emotions (as do Narcissist, Psychopath)

Professor Sam Vaknin argued that higher empathy (in healthy individuals) paradoxically correlates with reduced ability to recognize others’ emotions, citing recent studies. He explained that emotions arise from cognition, bodily signals, and context, and that cluster B personality disorders (narcissism, borderline, psychopathy, histrionic, codependency) involve cognitive distortions and malformed or goal-oriented empathy that cause mislabeling, dysregulation, avoidance, or dissociation of emotions. He outlined coping mechanisms—repression/avoidance, mislabeling/intensity errors, dissociation, dysfunctional self-soothing, and controlled approach-avoidance—that lead to behaviors like love-bombing, manipulation, and formation of persecutory introjects. Borderline Misunderstands Her Emotions (as do Narcissist, Psychopath)

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21.11.2025

Narcissism: BIBLE Got There FIRST! (FULL VIDEO in Description)

The speaker discussed narcissistic traits as described in the Bible, emphasizing its detailed characterization predates modern diagnostic manuals like the DSM and ICD. They highlighted the diagnostic criteria from the DSM and the lack of narcissistic personality disorder diagnosis in the ICD, noting regional variations in terminology usage. The lecture was structured into two parts: phenomenology of the typical narcissist and further discussion on associated traits. Narcissism: BIBLE Got There FIRST! (FULL VIDEO in Description)

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20.11.2025

Why Narcissists MUST Abuse YOU (Skopje Seminar Opening, May 2025)

The seminar, organized by the Vaknin Vangelovska Foundation, provided an in-depth, research-based exploration of pathological narcissism, its impact on victims, and the complex dynamics of the shared fantasy between narcissists and those they manipulate. Key topics included the distinction between narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic style, the contagious nature of narcissism, and the profound psychological damage inflicted on victims, including epistemic injury and identity estrangement. The speaker also addressed misconceptions about narcissism, such as the myth of victim selection and the nature of narcissistic sexuality, promising further detailed discussions in subsequent sessions on coping, recovery, and healing. Why Narcissists MUST Abuse YOU (Skopje Seminar Opening, May 2025)

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20.11.2025

How Narcissists Betray You to Protect Their False Self (Narcissism Summaries YouTube Channel)

The video explored the dynamics of the narcissist mind, focusing on the stages of shared fantasy, starting with co-idealization where the narcissist idealizes and internalizes an idealized image of their partner, known as the introject. It described the second stage, dual mothership, where the narcissist transforms their partner into a maternal figure to recreate a childhood dynamic, offering and seeking unconditional love to compensate for the narcissist’s unresolved relationship with their own emotionally absent mother. The discussion emphasized the psychological mechanisms the narcissist uses to merge with idealized objects to acquire perceived perfection and the emotional complexity underpinning the narcissistic need for maternal substitution. Narcissism Summaries YouTube Channel.

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20.11.2025

Narcissists Never Criticize: They Vanish YOU Instead

In the video titled “Narcissists Never Criticize,” the speaker explained that narcissists do not genuinely criticize others because they cannot perceive others as separate external entities. Instead, narcissists project and interact only with internalized representations, making any apparent criticism a reflection of their own internal conflicts rather than an attempt to change the external person. Consequently, narcissistic “criticism” is subjective, delusional, and devoid of constructive intent. Narcissists Never Criticize: They Vanish YOU Instead

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20.11.2025

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