
Not Trauma, Nor Bonding, But Addiction to Intermittent Reinforcement (“Hot and Cold” Mixed Signals)
Sam Vaknin clarified that “trauma bonding” is a misnomer, emphasizing that it is not related to trauma or bonding but is actually an addiction to intermittent reinforcement provided by an abuser’s fluctuating idealization and devaluation. He explained that this process addiction involves craving the abuser’s gaze, which idealizes and devalues the victim, creating a compulsive behavioral pattern similar to substance addiction. The discussion also defined key terms such as addiction, bonding, trauma, and intermittent reinforcement to highlight that trauma bonding is best understood as a behavioral addiction rather than a psychological trauma or genuine attachment.