Tag: Trauma

Parentified Child’s Insecure Attachment: Internal Parents, Rebirth, Hyperintrojection

The speaker discussed the complex insecure attachment psychological dynamics of parentified children, explaining how insecure, regressed parents often infantilize themselves and delegate parental responsibilities to their children, causing these children to assume caregiving roles both externally and internally throughout their lives. They highlighted how even mentally healthy parents can regress due to trauma or childbirth, leading to similar parentification processes. The discussion emphasized the long-lasting effects on attachment styles, internal family systems, and the challenges parentified children face in forming secure relationships and object constancy. Hyperintrojection

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Not Trauma, Nor Bonding, But Addiction to Intermittent Reinforcement (“Hot and Cold” Mixed Signals)

Sam Vaknin clarified that “trauma bonding” is a misnomer, emphasizing that it is not related to trauma or bonding but is actually an addiction to intermittent reinforcement provided by an abuser’s fluctuating idealization and devaluation. He explained that this process addiction involves craving the abuser’s gaze, which idealizes and devalues the victim, creating a compulsive behavioral pattern similar to substance addiction. The discussion also defined key terms such as addiction, bonding, trauma, and intermittent reinforcement to highlight that trauma bonding is best understood as a behavioral addiction rather than a psychological trauma or genuine attachment.

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