Sam Vaknin explains how narcissists seek out and maintain relationships with people who are weak, dependent, or ill because such vulnerability reduces the narcissist’s abandonment anxiety and provides steady narcissistic supply. Narcissists systematically undermine partners’ autonomy—isolating, infantilizing, and controlling them—to secure dominance, then punish resistance by escalation, withdrawal, or self-destructive acts intended to inflict guilt. The talk emphasizes that the narcissist’s contradictory demands (wanting both a dependent ‘child’ and a strong ‘mother’) make the dynamic impossible to satisfy and show that the problem lies within the narcissist, not the partner. 4Ss Narcissists: Your Weakness=Their Strength, Your Resilience=Their Sadistic Self-destruction