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Tag: Relationships

“Bad” Relationships Are Opportunities (with Daria Zukowska, Clinical Psychologist)

Professor Sam Vaknin discussed dysfunctional relationships and reframed them as learning opportunities rather than “lost time,” emphasizing that growth requires emotional insight and embodiment in addition to cognitive understanding. He explained that negative self-concept arises from internalized hostile voices, can be countered by developing an authentic, supportive inner voice, and advised rebuilding trust slowly—testing partners and first reestablishing trust in oneself. He also noted that healthy relationships accept partners as they are and allow freedom and outside enrichment, and warned against pursuing relationships compulsively. “Bad” Relationships Are Opportunities (with Daria Zukowska, Clinical Psychologist)

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24.11.2025
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When Narcissist Reminds You of Someone: Narcissistic Transferences (Idealizing, Mirror, Twinship)

The video discussed the psychological concept of transference, particularly focusing on narcissistic transference as explained through psychoanalysis and self psychology. It detailed how individuals project unresolved childhood dynamics onto others, creating expectations that these new relationships fulfill past unmet needs, often leading to distorted perceptions and dysfunctional interactions. The speaker emphasized the therapeutic importance of recognizing and working through transference and counter-transference to improve self-awareness and relational functioning, especially in narcissistic relationships. When Narcissist Reminds You of Someone: Narcissistic Transferences (Idealizing, Mirror, Twinship)

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15.11.2025

Narcissism – Quo Vadis? (with Anwesh Satpathy)

In this discussion, Professor Sam Banknt elaborated on narcissism, differentiating between healthy primary narcissism and pathological secondary narcissism, emphasizing the fluidity and overlap between narcissistic and other personality disorders. He critiqued the current psychiatric diagnostic system as outdated and pseudoscientific, advocating for a unified approach to personality disorders while highlighting societal issues like the rise of narcissistic traits amplified by technology and social media. The conversation also addressed the challenges of regulation, societal impacts of arranged marriages, and the interplay between narcissism, religion, and culture in modern times. Narcissism – Quo Vadis? (with Anwesh Satpathy)

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31.10.2025

How Covert Narcissist Deceives Covert Borderline and He Loves It (2nd in Odd Couples Series)

This video explored the complex dynamics between covert borderline and covert narcissist personalities in intimate relationships, highlighting their psychological interplay, emotional compatibility, and conflicts. Key points included the covert borderline’s capacity for real love and moral rigidity contrasting with the covert narcissist’s envy, deception, and emotional dysfunction, creating a turbulent and often adversarial relationship. Despite significant incompatibilities, the covert borderline’s longing for idealized love and the covert narcissist’s deceptive fulfillment of that fantasy often bind them together in a dysfunctional but enduring cycle. How Covert Narcissist Deceives Covert Borderline and He Loves It (2nd in Odd Couples Series)

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29.10.2025

Love Addiction: Craving Infatuation, Limerence

This video is focused on the concept of love addiction, describing it as a behavioral addiction characterized by excessive, fantasy-driven infatuation and dysregulated, unbounded behaviors often linked to codependency and personality disorders. Love addicts, predominantly women, seek the intense emotional rush of falling in love rather than genuine intimacy, leading to unhealthy relationships, compulsive behaviors, and emotional distress. Treatment is challenging, involving cognitive behavioral therapy and self-help groups, but remains limited due to the deep psychological needs and low self-awareness underlying the addiction. Love Addiction: Craving Infatuation, Limerence

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28.10.2025

Narcissism in Unexpected Places (with Tanya H. Van Cott, Author of “Bandwidth”)

The conversation explored the dystopian themes of the book *Bandwidth*, focusing on technology’s impact on humanity, particularly AI, SMS communication, Narcissism, and airwater generation, while contrasting optimistic views held by tech entrepreneurs. The speaker discussed the human-nonhuman dichotomy in technology, the anxieties provoked by digital communication, and the challenges AI poses as a competitor for scarce resources like water and power. Additionally, the dialogue touched on architecture’s narcissistic tendencies, generational divides in technology use, and the evolving literary forms fitting modern fragmented realities.

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22.09.2025

Sam and Lidija: Parents of Narcissistic Abuse Field (with J.S. Wolfe)

In this in-depth discussion, Sam Vaknin and Lydia Rangalowska explored the complexities of narcissistic personality disorder, including its origins, emotional dynamics, and impact on relationships, emphasizing the internalized nature of narcissistic perceptions and behaviors. They highlighted the challenges faced by partners of narcissists, the interplay between different personality disorders, and the psychological mechanisms narcissists use to manipulate and sustain their distorted self-concept. The conversation also addressed misconceptions about empathy, the fluidity of personality disorders, and the difficulties in individuation for those enmeshed with narcissistic parents.

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18.09.2025

“Betraying” the Narcissist: Don’t Feel Guilty! (Survivor Guilt)

Discussed the complex emotions of survivor guilt experienced by those who have endured narcissistic abuse, emphasizing the deep sense of betrayal and responsibility survivors feel toward the narcissist, who is likened to a traumatized child trapped in an adult body. It highlighted the destructive nature of the narcissistic relationship as a toxic fantasy, where survivors mistakenly blame themselves for the failure of the relationship, despite the narcissist’s incapacity for genuine love or pain. Ultimately, the meeting encouraged survivors to understand that they are abandoning an illusion and to prioritize their own healing and self-preservation above the destructive dynamic.

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31.08.2025

How Narcissist Betrays YOU to Become Himself (Compilation)

The speaker presents an integrated conceptual framework based on the theory of shared fantasy to explain the complex, contradictory behaviors of narcissists in intimate relationships, detailing stages such as idealization, dual mothership, mental discard, and the challenges associated with discarding internalized images of partners. The framework highlights the narcissist’s struggle with separation anxiety, narcissistic injury, and the cyclical process of devaluation and re-idealization, which ultimately prevent true separation from their partners and perpetuate repetitive harmful dynamics. The only exception occurs when the narcissist undergoes a profound psychological transformation called modification, allowing them to reconstruct their identity and escape this cycle.

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03.03.2023

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