Tag: Relationships

Narcissism in Unexpected Places (with Tanya H. Van Cott, Author of “Bandwidth”)

The conversation explored the dystopian themes of the book *Bandwidth*, focusing on technology’s impact on humanity, particularly AI, SMS communication, Narcissism, and airwater generation, while contrasting optimistic views held by tech entrepreneurs. The speaker discussed the human-nonhuman dichotomy in technology, the anxieties provoked by digital communication, and the challenges AI poses as a competitor for scarce resources like water and power. Additionally, the dialogue touched on architecture’s narcissistic tendencies, generational divides in technology use, and the evolving literary forms fitting modern fragmented realities.

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Sam and Lidija: Parents of Narcissistic Abuse Field (with J.S. Wolfe)

In this in-depth discussion, Sam Vaknin and Lydia Rangalowska explored the complexities of narcissistic personality disorder, including its origins, emotional dynamics, and impact on relationships, emphasizing the internalized nature of narcissistic perceptions and behaviors. They highlighted the challenges faced by partners of narcissists, the interplay between different personality disorders, and the psychological mechanisms narcissists use to manipulate and sustain their distorted self-concept. The conversation also addressed misconceptions about empathy, the fluidity of personality disorders, and the difficulties in individuation for those enmeshed with narcissistic parents.

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“Betraying” the Narcissist: Don’t Feel Guilty! (Survivor Guilt)

Discussed the complex emotions of survivor guilt experienced by those who have endured narcissistic abuse, emphasizing the deep sense of betrayal and responsibility survivors feel toward the narcissist, who is likened to a traumatized child trapped in an adult body. It highlighted the destructive nature of the narcissistic relationship as a toxic fantasy, where survivors mistakenly blame themselves for the failure of the relationship, despite the narcissist’s incapacity for genuine love or pain. Ultimately, the meeting encouraged survivors to understand that they are abandoning an illusion and to prioritize their own healing and self-preservation above the destructive dynamic.

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How Narcissist Betrays YOU to Become Himself (Compilation)

The speaker presents an integrated conceptual framework based on the theory of shared fantasy to explain the complex, contradictory behaviors of narcissists in intimate relationships, detailing stages such as idealization, dual mothership, mental discard, and the challenges associated with discarding internalized images of partners. The framework highlights the narcissist’s struggle with separation anxiety, narcissistic injury, and the cyclical process of devaluation and re-idealization, which ultimately prevent true separation from their partners and perpetuate repetitive harmful dynamics. The only exception occurs when the narcissist undergoes a profound psychological transformation called modification, allowing them to reconstruct their identity and escape this cycle.

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