Tag: Relationship Dynamics

Are YOU the Narcissist’s Fantasy?

Sam Vaknin explains the narcissist’s shared fantasy as a paracosm centered on a false self (a godlike father figure) and an idealized intimate partner (mother role), created to defend against childhood trauma via splitting and imaginary friends. He links this fantasy-making to creativity and giftedness, notes its religious and cult-like features, and describes how narcissists refuse to grow up, defend their fantasy fiercely, and often shift between somatic and cerebral strategies to extract narcissistic supply. He emphasizes that partners play a role in co-creating the shared fantasy but should feel proud to leave toxic relationships, as ending them is an act of self-preservation and healing. Are YOU the Narcissist’s Fantasy?

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Narcissist’s Relationship Cycle Decoded and What To Do About It – Part 1 of 3

In this seminar, Sam Vaknin explored the complex psychology of pathological narcissism, explaining it as a result of childhood trauma and arrested development, characterized by repetition compulsion, emotional dysregulation, and a pervasive self-loathing. He detailed the cyclical nature of relationships with narcissists, including love bombing, idealization, devaluation, and discard, emphasizing the narcissist’s unconscious attempt to resolve early maternal conflicts through intimate partners. Vaknin highlighted that narcissists, lacking true self-love and stable identity, use their partners to fulfill unmet developmental needs, ultimately leading to a toxic dynamic where separation and individuation can only occur through devaluation and discard.

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