Tag: Psychological Mechanisms

3 Ways to Manipulate Codependent People-pleasers (Clip: Vaknin Narcissism Summaries YouTube Channel)

The video discusses three manipulative steps to control people pleasers: clearly communicate expectations, show measured pleasure when expectations are met, and express profound disappointment when they fail. It then delves into the psychological dynamics of people pleasers, highlighting their core automatic thoughts such as believing their happiness comes at others’ expense, needing to earn happiness through hard work, having to bribe others for acceptance, and feeling compelled to compromise their own boundaries. These insights explain the internal struggles of people pleasers and those parentified in childhood, linking their behaviors to deep-seated beliefs and introjects from critical or absent parental figures. Vaknin Narcissism Summaries

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Anticipate and Preempt? Not Always Healthy!

Sam Vaknin, explores the role of contempt in narcissism as a preemptive defense mechanism that protects narcissists from emotional injury by devaluing others, thus ensuring their emotional invulnerability. He also discusses how anticipatory behaviors, such as preemptive abandonment and reaction formation, stem from anxiety and fear of negative outcomes, often leading to self-fulfilling prophecies that bring about the very disasters individuals seek to avoid. Lastly, he highlights how anticipation and catastrophizing can constrict and limit life, causing psychological harm by fostering behaviors that inadvertently realize feared outcomes.

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Covert Narcissist’s Sadistic Envy Fantasy (conference presentation)

The intricate relationship between covert narcissism, malicious envy, and sadistic behavior, emphasizing how covert narcissists harbor a deep wish to destroy those they envy due to feelings of inferiority and rivalry. It highlighted findings from a recent Italian study linking grandiose narcissism, narcissistic rivalry, and malicious envy with sadism, illustrating how these traits drive the desire to inflict pain and regain control. The conversation underscored that sadism in narcissism is fundamentally about power and control, often masked by fantasies and pseudo-morality, with covert narcissists exhibiting particularly pronounced passive-aggressive sadistic tendencies.

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