Tag: People Pleasers

3 Ways to Manipulate Codependent People-pleasers (Clip: Vaknin Narcissism Summaries YouTube Channel)

The video discusses three manipulative steps to control people pleasers: clearly communicate expectations, show measured pleasure when expectations are met, and express profound disappointment when they fail. It then delves into the psychological dynamics of people pleasers, highlighting their core automatic thoughts such as believing their happiness comes at others’ expense, needing to earn happiness through hard work, having to bribe others for acceptance, and feeling compelled to compromise their own boundaries. These insights explain the internal struggles of people pleasers and those parentified in childhood, linking their behaviors to deep-seated beliefs and introjects from critical or absent parental figures. Vaknin Narcissism Summaries

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3 Steps to Manipulate a People-pleaser

In the meeting, the speaker explained how people pleasers, often driven by distorted cognitive patterns rooted in childhood parentification, are easily manipulated through clear communication of expectations, intermittent reinforcement of pleasure, and expressions of profound disappointment. People pleasers harbor automatic thoughts such as needing to earn happiness, bribing others for acceptance, and compromising boundaries due to feelings of unworthiness and responsibility for others’ well-being. The discussion also explored the psychological constructs and self-states that sustain people pleasing behavior, emphasizing its role as a coping mechanism rather than a conscious choice.

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