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Tag: Narcissists

Borderline: Narcissist’s Mirror (and Avoidant Personality Disorder)

Sam Vaknin argues that borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mirror image of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD): whereas narcissists defend against the threat of others’ presence by internalizing and “snapshotting” them, borderlines defend against absence by merging and outsourcing psychological functions to others. Although BPD and NPD can appear behaviorally similar—withdrawal, devaluation, cycles of idealization and discard, and comorbidity with avoidant and other personality disorders—their underlying dynamics differ (narcissists seek separation from external objects into internal introjects; borderlines fear abandonment and engulfment, leading to approach-avoidance repetition compulsion). Vaknin also distinguishes avoidant personality disorder as a related but narrower condition characterized mainly by chronic avoidance driven by rejection sensitivity and low self-worth, and illustrates these differences with clinical examples. Borderline: Narcissist’s Mirror (and Avoidant Personality Disorder)

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28.11.2025

Why Narcissists MUST Abuse YOU (Skopje Seminar Opening, May 2025)

The seminar, organized by the Vaknin Vangelovska Foundation, provided an in-depth, research-based exploration of pathological narcissism, its impact on victims, and the complex dynamics of the shared fantasy between narcissists and those they manipulate. Key topics included the distinction between narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic style, the contagious nature of narcissism, and the profound psychological damage inflicted on victims, including epistemic injury and identity estrangement. The speaker also addressed misconceptions about narcissism, such as the myth of victim selection and the nature of narcissistic sexuality, promising further detailed discussions in subsequent sessions on coping, recovery, and healing. Why Narcissists MUST Abuse YOU (Skopje Seminar Opening, May 2025)

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20.11.2025

How Narcissists Betray You to Protect Their False Self (Narcissism Summaries YouTube Channel)

The video explored the dynamics of the narcissist mind, focusing on the stages of shared fantasy, starting with co-idealization where the narcissist idealizes and internalizes an idealized image of their partner, known as the introject. It described the second stage, dual mothership, where the narcissist transforms their partner into a maternal figure to recreate a childhood dynamic, offering and seeking unconditional love to compensate for the narcissist’s unresolved relationship with their own emotionally absent mother. The discussion emphasized the psychological mechanisms the narcissist uses to merge with idealized objects to acquire perceived perfection and the emotional complexity underpinning the narcissistic need for maternal substitution. Narcissism Summaries YouTube Channel.

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20.11.2025

Narcissists Never Criticize: They Vanish YOU Instead

In the video titled “Narcissists Never Criticize,” the speaker explained that narcissists do not genuinely criticize others because they cannot perceive others as separate external entities. Instead, narcissists project and interact only with internalized representations, making any apparent criticism a reflection of their own internal conflicts rather than an attempt to change the external person. Consequently, narcissistic “criticism” is subjective, delusional, and devoid of constructive intent. Narcissists Never Criticize: They Vanish YOU Instead

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20.11.2025

Date from Hell: Dating Narcissists and Psychopaths

In this video, Sam Vaknin discussed his personal experience with narcissistic personality disorder and his pioneering work in identifying and defining narcissism and related personality disorders. He explained the behaviors and psychological traits of narcissists and psychopaths, their impact on relationships, and the challenges victims face, emphasizing the prevalence of these disorders in various social settings. Vaknin also highlighted the importance of education to recognize narcissistic traits and recommended his book “Malignant Self-Love” as a valuable resource for understanding and coping with narcissistic abuse. Date from Hell: Dating Narcissists and Psychopaths

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04.11.2025

Borderline’s Partner: Some Enter Healthy, Exit Mentally Ill (Starts 12:10)

The discussion focused on how individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often transform their intimate partners, even mentally healthy ones, into narcissists through a dynamic of unstable internal and external object constancy. It was explained that borderlines struggle with maintaining stable internal representations of others, leading to chaotic behaviors and emotional dysregulation, which drives partners to withdraw and develop internal objects representing the borderline, mirroring narcissistic dynamics. This cyclical interaction produces mutual avoidance and approach behaviors, perpetuating a complex and destructive relationship pattern where both parties exhibit traits of narcissism and borderline pathology. Borderline’s Partner: Some Enter Healthy, Exit Mentally Ill (Starts 12:10)

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03.11.2025

Deja-vu: Fight Gaslighter’s Secret Techniques, Messing with YOUR Mind

This video provided an in-depth analysis of gaslighting, describing it as a manipulative psychological tactic used primarily by psychopaths to destabilize victims’ sense of reality through techniques like déjà vu, semantic satiation, and induced dissociation. It highlighted the emotional abuse involved, including invalidation, twisting of reality, and coercion, while emphasizing the importance of recognizing gaslighting signs, documenting experiences, asserting one’s reality, and seeking external support or professional help. The discussion also referenced academic perspectives, including Michelle Foucault’s interpretation of madness, and concluded with practical advice for victims to regain self-trust and mental health. Deja-vu: Fight Gaslighter’s Secret Techniques, Messing with YOUR Mind

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29.10.2025

Victim or Narcissist? Tell Them Apart!

In this video, the speaker explained how to distinguish true victims from narcissists who falsely claim victimhood by highlighting key behaviors such as splitting, generalization, self-pity, and denial of responsibility. Narcissists often portray themselves as flawless victims, avoid accountability, and use victimhood manipulatively for personal gain, whereas real victims exhibit nuanced self-awareness and take responsibility for their circumstances. The speaker provided practical tests and signs to identify narcissistic victimhood, emphasizing the importance of critical evaluation in interactions. Victim or Narcissist? Tell Them Apart!

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26.10.2025

Cheating, Triangulation in Sick Relationships: Power Play, Revenge, Entitlement

This video explored the dynamics of cheating and triangulation in toxic, obsessive relationships, highlighting how these behaviors serve as tools for power plays, revenge, and emotional regulation rather than true romantic or sexual pursuits. It examined how such actions reinforce dysfunctional bonds, confirm internalized negative self-views, and often follow phases of extreme loyalty and trauma-induced behavior. Additionally, the discussion covered narcissistic motivations for cheating, including entitlement, control, boredom, and fear of intimacy, as well as the risks and consequences of using third parties in triangulation. Cheating, Triangulation in Sick Relationships: Power Play, Revenge, Entitlement

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20.10.2025

Autists Lack Empathy, “Empaths” Deceive, Manipulate

In this video, the speaker presented evidence from recent studies showing that children with autism spectrum disorder exhibit deficits in empathy and self-conscious emotions such as guilt and shame, likening these traits to those found in narcissists and psychopaths. The discussion also highlighted that so-called empaths are often narcissists or psychopaths who manipulate others through deceptive signaling of high sensitivity as a strategy to gain sympathy or control. Overall, the speaker emphasized the complex interplay between neurodevelopmental and personality disorders, challenging common perceptions about empathy and victimhood. Autists Lack Empathy, “Empaths” Deceive, Manipulate

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20.10.2025

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