Tag: Narcissistic Mortification

Narcissist: When Defenses Crumble, Shame Overwhelms: Narcissistic Mortification, Pt. 2 (Compilation)

In this comprehensive discussion, Sam Vaknin explains narcissistic motification as a severe psychological event distinct from narcissistic injury, characterized by public humiliation that dismantles the narcissist’s defenses and leads to profound shame, grief, and potential suicidal ideation. He describes the stages following motification, including internal and external attributions of blame, and how these affect the narcissist’s behavior, often resulting in vindictive actions to restore grandiosity. Additionally, Vaknin explores the dynamics of narcissistic relationships, highlighting key behaviors such as hoovering, approach-avoidance cycles, and the complex interplay of intimacy, control, and abandonment within shared fantasies.

Read More »

When YOU Discard the Narcissist FIRST

Sam Vaknin explained the psychological effects on a narcissist when they are discarded by a partner before they have the chance to devalue and discard the other person, highlighting the resulting narcissistic injury or mortification. He detailed the narcissist’s subsequent reactions, including emotional dysregulation, abandonment anxiety, dissociation, and often coercive efforts to restore the shared fantasy through hoovering or replacement relationships. The discussion emphasized the narcissist’s internal struggle with self-image, grief over the lost relationship, and the repetitive cycle of idealization, devaluation, and discard with new partners.

Read More »