Tag: Narcissist

SECRET Reason Narcissist Devalues, Discards YOU

The speaker explores the complex behaviors of narcissists, particularly their tendencies to devalue, discard, and replace partners as a reenactment of unresolved childhood conflicts with their mothers. They explain how narcissists manipulate their partners mentally by internalizing and controlling their inner critic and ego functions, leading to emotional abuse that is more about the narcissist’s internal struggles than the victim. The discussion concludes by connecting the rise of narcissism to broader societal shifts from agricultural to urban living, and predicts even more adverse psychological effects with the advent of the metaverse and virtual realities.

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How to Hatch in Narcissist’s Mind: Internal to External Object

Sam Vaknin explained that narcissists perceive others not as separate external entities but as internal objects or avatars within their own minds, using primitive defenses such as projection and splitting internally on these representations rather than on the actual people. He emphasized that challenging a narcissist’s internal object through asserting personal autonomy, disagreeing, or maintaining external relationships can provoke aggression but is essential to affirm one’s separateness and reality. Ultimately, Vaknin advised that recognizing this dynamic helps in coping with narcissists, as attempts to assert external reality can disrupt the narcissist’s fantasy but may risk the relationship.

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Narcissist: Locus of Grandiosity, Type Fluidity

The discussion focused on the concept of the “locus of grandiosity” in narcissism, explaining that narcissists seek to be perceived as unique through a self-enhancing narrative that varies by individual interests or attributes, rather than uniformly wanting to be the best in all areas. It was emphasized that narcissists exhibit type fluidity, meaning their personality traits and grandiose narratives can shift in response to psychological stress or collapse, transitioning between narcissistic, borderline, and psychopathic states. This fluidity results in an absence of a stable core identity, making narcissists highly inconsistent and difficult to predict, as they continuously generate varying self-defining stories.

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