Tag: Contempt

Anticipate and Preempt? Not Always Healthy!

Sam Vaknin, explores the role of contempt in narcissism as a preemptive defense mechanism that protects narcissists from emotional injury by devaluing others, thus ensuring their emotional invulnerability. He also discusses how anticipatory behaviors, such as preemptive abandonment and reaction formation, stem from anxiety and fear of negative outcomes, often leading to self-fulfilling prophecies that bring about the very disasters individuals seek to avoid. Lastly, he highlights how anticipation and catastrophizing can constrict and limit life, causing psychological harm by fostering behaviors that inadvertently realize feared outcomes.

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Narcissist’s Contempt for You: Shame Projected

The speaker explained that narcissists harbor profound contempt toward others as a projection of their own shame, which stems from a deep-rooted sense of helplessness caused by trauma and abuse. This contempt allows narcissists to avoid embracing shame, thereby maintaining a false sense of moral and intellectual superiority while remaining stuck in a victim mentality. Additionally, the speaker differentiated contempt from grandiosity in narcissism, highlighting that grandiosity can be motivational and linked to uniqueness, whereas contempt is an attitudinal defense mechanism projecting perceived inferiority onto others.

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