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Category: Summaries

Negative thinking

Why You Can’t Stop Thinking: Obsessional Neurosis

Obsessional neurosis involves intrusive, involuntary thoughts and ritualistic compulsions that serve as defensive attempts to manage overwhelming anxiety and past trauma, often causing dissociation and detachment from the body and reality. Historical and theoretical perspectives (Freud, Winnicott, Lacan) link obsessions to early trauma, ambivalence between love and hate, and a need to symbolically ‘undo’ the past; obsessions can function like addictions by providing a controllable internal structure. Clinically, obsessions are complex, multilayered, past-focused, and debilitating—producing guilt, isolation, and impaired functioning—while rituals temporarily reduce anxiety but ultimately perpetuate paralysis. Why You Can’t Stop Thinking: Obsessional Neurosis

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30.12.2025
Loner Narcissist

Narcissist=Insane? You, Envy, Withdrawal, Loner Narcissist

The complex relationship between narcissism and schizoid personality disorder reveals how deeply intertwined withdrawal, envy, and self-fragmentation are in human psychology. Recognizing these links allows for a more compassionate understanding of these challenging personality structures. As society continues to evolve, awareness and informed approaches are crucial to mitigate the rising mental health crisis rooted in alienation and narcissistic pathology. Narcissist=Insane? You, Envy, Withdrawal, Loner Narcissist

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26.12.2025
narcissistic mortification

Narcissistic Mortification: From Shame to Healing via Trauma, Fear, and Guilt

The speaker explained narcissistic mortification as the traumatic, terror-inducing collapse of a narcissist’s false self when confronted with reality, often rooted in early object-relational abuse and unmet developmental needs. Mortification can trigger extreme defenses (grandiosity, denial, projection, revenge, or self-blame) and may be reenacted through relationships to recreate primary trauma; if endured and integrated it can allow healing by exposing the false self and enabling shame, guilt, and empathy. Treatment aims to convert overwhelming mortification into bearable shame and re-establish a tolerable self-state, often through controlled retraumatization that opens the possibility of therapeutic reintegration. Narcissistic Mortification: From Shame to Healing via Trauma, Fear, and Guilt

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25.12.2025
Grey Rock

Use AI to Grey Rock the Narcissist (with Erica Hagen, Peacepost.io)

The discussion focused on developing ‘peace post,’ a language-based tool to help victims of narcissists and psychopaths communicate neutrally, reduce emotional escalation, and protect boundaries through techniques like gray rock and protective communication. Speakers emphasized the importance of coupling the tool with professional support to provide alternative narratives and ongoing healing, especially for those who cannot go no-contact (e.g., co-parenting). They also contrasted narcissists (childlike, fantasy-driven) with psychopaths (predatory, goal-driven), noting different challenges and future product evolution to address psychopathic behaviors. Use AI to Grey Rock the Narcissist (with Erica Hagen, Peacepost.io)

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23.12.2025

Narcissist: It’s Not About You! It’s the Fantasy! (Hierarchy of Introjects)

Understanding narcissism requires recognizing that the narcissist’s emotional world revolves around fantasies rather than real interpersonal relationships. The idealization you experience is selective and serves to elevate the narcissist’s own self-image. Similarly, introjected images of others are tools within these fantasies, lacking genuine emotional attachment.
For those involved with narcissists, this insight can clarify the confusing dynamics of validation, idealization, and emotional detachment. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward establishing boundaries, protecting self-esteem, and fostering healthier relationships. Narcissist: It’s Not About You! It’s the Fantasy! (Hierarchy of Introjects)

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23.12.2025

Soft Abandonment and Its Anxiety

The speaker explains the concept of “soft abandonment,” subtle behaviors that create abandonment anxiety—such as emotional withdrawal, constant criticism, indifference, neglect, and frequent absences—even while partners remain physically together. Soft abandonment can arise from major differences between partners (age, values, beliefs) and from ongoing rejection, humiliation, or leading parallel lives, and often produces deeper, longer-lasting harm than clear-cut breakups. The talk warns that these covert forms of abandonment can render relationships toxic, provoke severe emotional or pathological reactions, and should be recognized as genuine causes of separation insecurity. Soft Abandonment and Its Anxiety

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21.12.2025

4Ss Narcissists: Your Weakness=Their Strength, Your Resilience=Their Sadistic Self-destruction

Sam Vaknin explains how narcissists seek out and maintain relationships with people who are weak, dependent, or ill because such vulnerability reduces the narcissist’s abandonment anxiety and provides steady narcissistic supply. Narcissists systematically undermine partners’ autonomy—isolating, infantilizing, and controlling them—to secure dominance, then punish resistance by escalation, withdrawal, or self-destructive acts intended to inflict guilt. The talk emphasizes that the narcissist’s contradictory demands (wanting both a dependent ‘child’ and a strong ‘mother’) make the dynamic impossible to satisfy and show that the problem lies within the narcissist, not the partner. 4Ss Narcissists: Your Weakness=Their Strength, Your Resilience=Their Sadistic Self-destruction

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21.12.2025

Control Freaks and Their Victims

Sam Vaknin distinguishes control from manipulation, power plays, and sadomasochism, arguing that control focuses on securing people as sources of outcomes and is largely unconscious. He outlines controller motivations—narcissistic grandiosity and separation/abandonment insecurity—and techniques such as withholding information, intimidation, disorientation (e.g., gaslighting), and expectation-broadcasting. He also explains why some people collude with controllers—seeking a secure base, embracing a victim identity, or validating internalized self-derogation—and describes collusive tactics like ostentatious helplessness, bottom-up control, and inducing unpredictability to provoke micromanagement. Control Freaks and Their Victims

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21.12.2025

Narcissistic Abuse is Grueling TEST: Did YOU Pass It? (Clip: Skopje Seminar, May 2025)

The speaker explains how narcissists idealize others by imposing a shared fantasy and using love bombing to make victims fall in love with an inflated, mirror-like image of themselves. This creates a dual mothership dynamic where the victim becomes both mother and child to the narcissist, producing an intense, enmeshed attachment that reproduces early developmental failures in separation-individuation. The narcissist then tests the victim’s maternal devotion through escalating abuse to determine whether the victim will remain, enabling the narcissist’s attempted individuation and continued control. Narcissistic Abuse is Grueling TEST: Did YOU Pass It? (Clip: Skopje Seminar, May 2025)

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21.12.2025

Narcissist’s Seductive Hyperreality: Feminine Sign-value of False Self (Baudrillard)

Lecturer applies Baudrillard’s spectacle theory to pathological narcissism, arguing that in postmodern hyper-simulation identities are performative and constructed from the sign-value of possessions and curated images. Narcissism acts as a defensive, preemptive objectification in which the false self replaces the authentic self, broadcasting superiority and seducing others into a fabricated reality. Unlike psychopathy’s direct destruction of external reality, narcissism subverts it through mimicry, seduction, and the reproduction of simulations—phenomena amplified by social media and consumer culture. Narcissist’s Seductive Hyperreality: Feminine Sign-value of False Self (Baudrillard)

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21.12.2025

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