Why I Love Airports, Hotels: Impermanence as Escape

Introduction: The Unlikely Comfort of Airports and Hotels

Airports and hotels are often seen merely as transit points or temporary accommodations. Yet, for many, these spaces evoke deep feelings of comfort, freedom, and safety. This paradoxical attachment to places designed for impermanence raises a fascinating psychological question: why do airports and hotels feel like home? In this blog post, we explore the unique emotional and psychological dynamics that make these transient spaces so compelling and comforting to many individuals.

The Paradox of Feeling Free in Transit

The Sense of Liberation

Entering an airport terminal or hotel lobby often sparks an unexpected sensation of liberation. The author describes this feeling as akin to soaring like a “big bird,” free from the constraints of everyday life. Airports and hotels represent places where conventional routines and responsibilities temporarily dissolve, allowing one to exist in a state of transition and possibility. This feeling of being “unshackled” is a core reason why many people feel most alive when they are in transit.

The Magic of Invisibility

One of the most intriguing aspects of airports and hotels is the anonymity they afford. Here, individuals become ephemeral, transparent, and invisible—much like a child unnoticed by adults. This invisibility cloak offers a magical escape from the scrutiny and expectations of daily life. In these spaces, people are not fully seen or known, which can provide a profound sense of safety and protection from emotional harm.

Psychological Comfort in Transience

Avoiding the Self and Life’s Pressures

Airports and hotels provide a rare opportunity to avoid the pressures of life and even the self. The author describes this as a paradox where one feels most alive precisely when not fully present or “not being.” This detachment serves as a defense mechanism, allowing individuals to become detached observers rather than active participants, thus avoiding pain, loss, or emotional vulnerability.

The Security of Rigid Rules and Predictability

Although airports and hotels are spaces of transition, they are governed by clear rules and expectations. The transactional nature of these environments—check-ins, boarding passes, queues—creates a predictable framework that reduces uncertainty and anxiety. This certainty provides a sense of empowerment and resilience, helping individuals feel impermeable to the chaos of life outside these spaces.

The Intimacy of Strangers: A Unique Social Dynamic

Shared Yet Impersonal Connections

A remarkable feature of airports and hotels is the “intimacy of strangers.” Here, individuals share physical space, resources, and fleeting moments without the emotional entanglements typical of close relationships. This shared experience creates a form of neutral, impersonal intimacy that is safe and manageable, unlike the complexities of intimacy with loved ones, which can provoke panic or anxiety.

Simulated Life and Shared Fantasy

These transient spaces function as “simulated life” zones—detached from mainstream existence, they resemble an island or a dreamscape. People adopt temporary roles within someone else’s narrative, and this acting out comes with no lasting consequences. This detachment allows for a unique form of social interaction that is both freeing and protective.

Airports and Hotels as Total Spaces

The Concept of Sealed Experiences

Airports and hotels are “total spaces,” sealed environments where what happens inside stays inside. This creates a bubble of experience separate from the outside world. This bubble acts as a sanctuary, an escape from the burdens and messiness of real life. The author likens this feeling to the famous saying, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,” highlighting the psychological distance these spaces create from everyday reality.

Experiencing Death and Objectification

Interestingly, the author describes these spaces as places of symbolic death—where one becomes objectified and loses individuality. In airports, travelers become commodities; in hotels, guests are users. This objectification paradoxically brings liberation, as it strips away the complexities of identity and attachment, offering a form of existential freedom not found in daily life.

The Duality of Escape and Nostalgia

The Escape from Life’s Demands

Life is described metaphorically as quicksand—cumbersome, demanding, and suffocating. Airports and hotels offer an alternative: a temporary negation of this struggle. Within these spaces, individuals experience degrees of freedom unavailable elsewhere, a chance to “not be” and yet still exist in a meaningful way.

The Pain of Leaving the Bubble

Despite the comfort these spaces provide, the moment of leaving them often triggers nostalgia and emotional pain. Exiting the hotel or disembarking from a flight can feel like leaving a refuge, a sanctuary from the harsh realities of life. This bittersweet departure highlights the deep emotional significance of these transient places.

The Psychological Implications of Transit Spaces

Sanctuary and Refuge

For individuals who feel rootless or disconnected, airports and hotels serve as sanctuaries—safe havens where identity is flexible and expectations are minimal. These spaces offer respite from the pressures of bonding and commitment that can be overwhelming or anxiety-inducing.

The Desire for Infinite Transit

The author expresses a wish for this cycle of transit—from airport to hotel and back—to be infinite. This longing underscores a deep psychological need to escape permanence, responsibility, and the risks of emotional attachment. It reveals how transient spaces can become psychological refuges for those struggling with belonging and identity.

Conclusion: The Complex Allure of Transient Spaces

Airports and hotels are more than functional spaces for travel and accommodation; they are profound psychological landscapes where freedom, anonymity, and emotional safety intersect. They offer a unique blend of liberation and protection, intimacy without entanglement, and escape without consequence. Understanding this complex allure can deepen our appreciation of the human need for refuge and the ways we seek comfort in impermanence. Whether for the weary traveler or the restless soul, these transient spaces provide a rare sanctuary—a place to be free, invisible, and temporarily at home.

FAQs

Q1: Why do some people feel more alive when traveling or staying in hotels?
People often feel more alive in transit because these spaces offer freedom from daily responsibilities, anonymity, and a break from emotional burdens, allowing them to experience life more vividly.

Q2: How do airports and hotels reduce anxiety?
These spaces have predictable rules and transactions that create a sense of order and safety, reducing uncertainty and providing emotional comfort.

Q3: What does it mean to say airports and hotels are “total spaces”?
“Total spaces” are sealed environments where experiences are contained and do not have lasting consequences outside the space, creating a psychological bubble of temporary refuge.

Q4: Can the feeling of anonymity in these places be harmful?
While anonymity offers protection and freedom, excessive reliance on such spaces for escape may signal underlying issues with attachment, identity, or anxiety that might benefit from professional support.