Fix your Narrative, Heal Yourself: Narcissism Narrative Therapy

1. Introduction to Narrative and Disorders of the Self

• Discussion on the importance of narrative as the core identity and its failures in disorders such as narcissism and borderline personality disorder. The self is seen as an assemblage of self-states rather than a stable entity, organized through self-narratives. [00:00]

2. Narrative Failures in Narcissism and Borderline Personality Disorder

• Narcissism involves adopting unrealistic, grandiose self-narratives that divorce the individual from reality.
• In borderline personality disorder, identity is fragmented, ephemeral, and rapidly shifting, resulting in an absence of a coherent self.
• Both conditions represent narrative failures characterized by an empty core and disrupted identity. [02:00]

3. Narrative Therapy: Goals and Techniques

• Narrative therapy aims to help patients identify their values and skills and co-author new, helpful self-narratives with therapists. It encourages self-authorship and focuses on coping with life problems through constructive stories.
• Techniques include re-offering identity, externalizing conversations, and developing a preferred self-identity that separates the person from their problems. [06:00]

4. Addressing Dissonance Between Self- and External Narratives

• Conflict between an individual’s self-narrative and others’ perceptions is common, especially in narcissism, leading to defense mechanisms like grandiosity.
• Narrative therapy helps realign these narratives to foster realistic self-perception and potential for self-actualization. [11:00]

5. Unique Outcomes and Problem Solving in Narrative Therapy

• The therapy seeks to create “unique outcomes,” exceptions that allow patients to solve problems by rewriting their story and overcoming implied limits or catastrophizing embedded in old narratives. [13:00]

6. Externalizing Conversations and Strength-Based Approaches

• Externalizing problems by viewing them as separate from identity allows patients to leverage strengths and positive attributes instead of being defined by issues.
• This process involves naming problems, analyzing their effects, and altering the relationship to problems through strength-focused engagement. [15:30]

7. Collaborative Nature of Narrative Therapy and Use of Maps

• Therapy is collaborative, with therapists and patients co-creating therapeutic conversations and narratives.
• Use of tools like the Statement of Position map helps elicit client evaluations and build curiosity on both sides for healing and growth. [19:00]

8. Leveraging Instability and Fluid Identity as Assets

• Even in cases with identity instability (e.g., borderline disorder), the fluidity can be used positively in forming new self-narratives that break from social constraints or self-criticism.
• Ownership of the narrative process promotes commitment to implementing solutions based on personal values and history. [22:00]

9. Role of “Remembrance” and Integrating Sublimated Identities

• The therapy practice of re-membering combines socially accepted identities to support preferred stories, disengaging those that hinder growth, similar to techniques in cognitive behavioral therapy. [25:00]

10. Exploring Values Behind Pain and Failure

• The process makes implicit values explicit, exploring why some values lead to self-destructive behaviors and feelings of failure, aiming to resolve internal conflicts for better self-understanding. [27:30]

11. Outsider Witness Technique

• Outsiders (friends, family, other clients) may be invited as non-judgmental witnesses to the therapy process to provide perspective and foster a sense of relational connection, reinforcing the social aspect of identity.
• Outsiders share what resonated with them without criticism, helping patients see themselves from an external viewpoint and experience shifts in self-perception. [30:30]

12. Outcomes and Documentation in Narrative Therapy

• The main goal is to engage patients with alternative solutions through new self-narratives, often documented to mark progress collaboratively between patient and therapist.
• This approach parallels cognitive therapy but emphasizes self-authorship supported by guidance. [35:00]

13. Empowerment and Self-Reinvention

• Individuals can rewrite their identity by viewing themselves as authors of their lives, using imagination and creativity rather than deterministic views of a fixed self.
• Real-life inputs, even negative ones, provide essential feedback for growth and self-betterment. [38:00]

14. Effectiveness in Narcissism and Borderline Disorders

• Reconstructing self-narratives can stabilize values and improve functioning even in borderline patients and narcissists.
• Cold therapy is mentioned as a variant of narrative therapy targeting narcissistic grandiosity with realistic self-narratives enhancing self-efficacy. [41:00]

This summary captures the primary topics and associated techniques described throughout the meeting with corresponding timestamps for each key discussion point.