Inner Experience of Narcissism and Borderline Personality Disorder

• Narcissists experience their existence as non-existence, akin to death or emptiness, a feeling shared with borderline personality disorder, where emptiness is a diagnostic criterion. This illustrates a cognitive realization but without emotional acceptance ([00:00]).

Narcissism as a Death Cult

• Narcissism operates as a death cult, linked to Freud’s concept of the death drive. To internalize others as objects, narcissists must metaphorically kill them first, as living internal objects cannot exist in a mind equated with death ([00:28]).
• The narcissistic mother metaphorically kills her daughter early in life and then interacts with this “internal object” like a ghost, resembling a séance ([01:07]).

Nature of Internal Objects in Narcissist’s Mind

• Internal objects for narcissists are not alive but are ghosts or ephemeral apparitions without real substance or vitality. This highlights the absence of life in these internalized figures ([01:20]).

Process of Stripping Away Life Attributes

• Narcissists systematically rob others of their joy, sexuality, independence, agency, social connections, and financial autonomy to render them metaphorically dead, physically alive yet as zombies ([01:47]).
• This process often starts very early in life, as narcissistic mothers exert control and “kill” their children mentally by 18 to 36 months ([02:21]).

Difficulty of Resurrection and Life after Early Narcissistic Damage

• Recovering or “resurrecting” after this early psychological damage is akin to a religious miracle, involving a crucifixion (death) early in life ([02:41]).
• Individuals defined by the lethal gaze of the narcissistic mother see themselves as dead and their life as a celebration of death ([02:56]).

Psychological Implications of Death-Identification

• The more “dead” or less autonomous one is, the better they feel, as death becomes their comfort zone.
• Attempts to become independent or engage in life induce guilt and discomfort, revealing the internal conflict rooted in early narcissistic dynamics ([03:34]).
• The internal maternal introject sabotages efforts toward life and independence to maintain peace with the narcissistic mother ([04:11]).

Relationships and Loyalty

• Forming relationships with others is seen as a betrayal to the narcissistic mother, because others can provide life, independence, and perspectives that compete with the mother’s control ([04:35]).