Recognize Borderline Personality Disorder in Women and Mothers (The Nerve with Maureen Callahan)

TAGS: Anger, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Childhood, Childhood Experience, Emotional Characteristics, Personal Experiences, Relationship Patterns, Sam Vaknin, Twin Anxieties

Summary: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Key Features and Personal Experiences

1. Definition and Core Traits of Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) does not require all typical traits to be present; individuals may exhibit some of these traits.
Key signs include an innate sense of emptiness described as a consuming inner void [00:00].
Emotional dysregulation or affective lability, meaning an inability to control overwhelming emotions, is a central aspect [00:10].
Constant suicidal ideation is common, with 11% of cases resulting in suicide and a majority engaging in some form of self-harm [00:20].

2. Anger and Emotional Characteristics

Borderline individuals experience ongoing anger and rage as a constant background state, unlike narcissistic rage which is reactive and triggered by challenges [00:35].

3. Relationship Patterns

Relationships are intense and characterized by cycles of idealization and devaluation, marked by highs and lows [00:50].
Behavior often involves approach-avoidance dynamics with contradictory feelings such as “I love you, I hate you” and fear of abandonment coupled with fear of intimacy [01:00].

4. The Twin Anxieties

Borderlines live with two opposing fears: separation/abandonment anxiety and engulfment/fear of intimacy [01:20].
This results in simultaneous terror of being abandoned and fear of being overwhelmed by closeness, leading to pushing others away even when love is present [01:35].

5. Variation in Presentation and Personal Childhood Example

Not all individuals with BPD manifest all traits; presentations vary [01:50].
Personal anecdote describes normalized household chaos where unchecked rage occurred unpredictably, causing fear and confusion in the child, with episodes quickly dismissed by the family as normal [02:00].
Example of ‘splitting’ in family dynamics where one child is good and another is bad, leading to attempts at triangulation and making alliances among siblings [02:25].

All timestamps refer to the corresponding moments in the meeting transcript.

https://vaknintranscripts.com/2025/09/13/recognize-borderline-personality-disorder-in-women-and-mothers-the-nerve-with-maureen-callahan/

https://vakninsummaries.com/ (Full summaries of Sam Vaknin’s videos)

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/mediakit.html (My work in psychology: Media Kit and Press Room)

Bonus Consultations with Sam Vaknin or Lidija Rangelovska (or both) http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/ctcounsel.html

http://www.youtube.com/samvaknin (Narcissists, Psychopaths, Abuse)

http://www.youtube.com/vakninmusings (World in Conflict and Transition)

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com (Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited)

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/cv.html (Biography and Resume)

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