Overview

Focused on two main topics: the promotion of two free books published by the Vaknin Rangalowska Foundation and a detailed discussion on the dynamics of abusive relationships, specifically the subtle ways victims unconsciously bribe their abusers to maintain these toxic relationships.

1. Promotion of Free Books

• Books Available for Free Download:
  • Kronon Field Theory
    • A physics book detailing groundbreaking work by Eton Satched based on micronom field theory from 1982-1984.
    • Described as a revolutionary recasting of physics.
  • Scientific Healing and Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse
    • A tri-lingual edition (English, Macedonian, Albanian) focused on evidence-based practices for healing and recovery from narcissistic abuse.
    • Summarizes the author’s work and current scientific knowledge on the topic.
• Access Instructions:
  • Links for downloading both books are provided in the meeting description.
  • The books are freely available without charge.

2. Discussion on Abusive Relationships and Trauma Bonding

Key Points

• Nature of Abuser’s Contempt:
  • The abuser holds the victim in unmitigated contempt due to perceived inferiority or moral deficiency.
  • Abusers project their own undesirable traits onto the victim, thus identifying the victim with these negative attributes.
• The Four S’s Provided by Victims:
  • Sex supply
  • Services
  • Stable presence
  • Safe presence
  • The abuser requires at least two of these to maintain the relationship.
• Internal Object Concept:
  • Abuser maintains an “internal object” representing the victim as helpless, dependent, weak, submissive, stupid, labile, disregulated, infirm, or sick.
  • This internal object sustains the abuser’s grandiose self-image as superior and godlike.
• Conditioning and Bribery:
  • The abuser conditions the victim through positive and negative reinforcement to conform to the submissive, dependent role.
  • Victims are rewarded for helplessness, submission, ignorance, instability, sickness, and dependency.
  • These traits display loyalty and maintain the trauma bond.
• Role of Victim in the Abuser’s Narrative:
  • The victim, as the internal object, confirms the abuser’s perceived superiority.
  • If the victim displays strength, independence, intelligence, or stability, it is perceived as betrayal.
  • The shared fantasy or joint narrative demands that the victim remain dependent and submissive, branding autonomy as disloyalty.
• Impact on Victim Identity:
  • Victims often acquiesce by playing roles such as the helpless, submissive, ignorant, or infirm partner.
  • Over time, victims internalize these roles, which can cripple their identity.
  • This role-playing becomes second nature and replaces the victim’s original identity.
  • Victims ultimately become invisible to themselves, mere figments in the abuser’s narrative rather than real individuals.

Conclusion

This meeting highlighted the complex psychological mechanisms in abusive relationships, particularly how victims unconsciously “bribe” their abusers by conforming to imposed inferior roles to sustain the relationship. It emphasized the devastating impact on the victim’s identity and autonomy.

Additionally, attendees were encouraged to download two free, important books—one on advanced physics theory and the other on healing from narcissistic abuse—available in multiple languages.

Speaker: San Vaknin, author and professor of psychology specializing in narcissism and abuse recovery.